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07/22/2004: "Smart Alec Responses"

Some pretty good (and mean) smart alec comments from rec.humor.reruns in extended comments. There are too many good ones to excerpt. I did replace one f word for another in Smart Comment number 1.

Try using these some time.......

1) Ahhh...I see the [foul]-up fairy has visited us again...

2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of view.

11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

13) No, my powers can only be used for good.

14) How about never? Is never good for you?

15) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship
me.

16) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

17) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

18) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20) Who me? I just wander from room to room.

21) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

22) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm
really quite busy.

23) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

24) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

25) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

26) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the
subject.

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